Week One Recap.
So at the beginning of the week I started a draft of this post and started listing all the things I was spending my money on (and all the things I wasn’t). Today, I decided that was lame. I mean, it is all at the bottom so if you want to look at how I penny pinched, feel free. But I realized today, that is not the point.
The point is addressing all the shit that gets dredged up when one decides to make a change. It could be anything…it isn’t limited to starting a budget. It can come up with a change in diet, lifestyle, relationships, etc. Good news is we all get to go through the shit at some point.
So I decided to come up with a theme for each of my weekly posts. Something that comes up while going through this process and makes me dig a little deeper. This week, the theme is EGO.
WARNING: Profanity below.
God damn mutha fucking EGO! You haunt me. You rule my world more than I would like. And while I could sit here and curse you until the cows come home, I also have to recognize that you also have gotten me this far, and so, to be fair, you just need to be checked. Let me explain:
I started out this week doing just fine. Saving my little $17 for spin. Skipping coffee out most days. A meager but livable grocery outing. On paper, it looks like I am just cruising along. Until the weekend came. And my man had three days off. And we went furniture shopping. And out for dinner. And then hung out with friends. And went to dinner again. And then drinks. And all the social, fabulous things we like to do that cost money. Money that I didn’t even contemplate. And you know what sucks more than not getting to go out because you don’t want to spend money? Going out and not having money to spend.
It has always been super important to me to not appear cheap or frugal when it comes to going out. I pride myself on being able to pay for my family and friends and I love to pick up the check. I like leaving a nice healthy tip and I am not opposed to ordering another round. So when we went out with a dear friend this weekend and my man picked up the first round and then she picked up the second round, I was feeling super uncomfortable when we called it a night after that. I wanted to go for round three so I could make sure that I could pay my part – even if that meant putting on a credit card. I needed it to be known that I wasn’t being cheap or getting a free dinner. I am very grateful that I have a partner who is supporting me in this little experiment but it hurts my ego. I don’t really like to accept help as I have gotten through life just fine depending on me. Ego has taught me that I am enough. That I don’t need help. That no matter what, I can gut through it and get it done. Ego doesn’t let me lean on others or accept help. Ego has reared up before and because of that, I had accumulated unnecessary debt.
So this week, the lesson is on how to use the EGO in a positive way but to not let it control how I live my life. And while I am typing this, I am still not sure how to do that. For example (and feel free to chime in with your thoughts), if you are set to go out with friends, and you know you are trying to keep your outing lean, what do you do?
Do you make a plan? Bring only the cash that you intend to spend on your dinner/drinks?
Cancel? Don’t go at all?
Suggest something else? Less costly?
Bring your credit card and figure it out later? *This would be my choice in the past.
Let your friends know what is going on? That the traditional splitting of the bill isn’t going to work for you this time? You just want to pay for yourself so you can make sure to plan your meal accordingly?
How do you take the mask off?
It is so hard because food (or going out) is the social center of most of our lives. It is how we connect and relate, how we build our relationships. So how do with do this without ego and without spending outside of our means?
I found myself in quite a bit of a funk Sunday afternoon. Ego was letting me feel sorry for myself and all I wanted to do was drink a bottle of wine and curl up under my covers. But somehow I managed to pry myself off of the couch (where I was doing my taxes, no less) [BARF] and I grabbed my mat and went to a yoga class that a girlfriend of mine was teaching. And lord almighty, I needed that. I needed to move, and sweat, and let my ego take a break. And it cleared my head a little. Goes to show that moving the body and breathing will do a world of wonder for getting your ego into check.
Below is my journal of what I spent my dollars and cents on this week. Like I said, nothing thrilling. I managed to save some money which I will put back into my fund so that I have a little extra for the next time I need it.
Week One Money Journal
Day 2: Spin Class and a coffee with my man. I know. I know. I said that coffee was the first thing that needed to go. But I rarely get to go to spin class with the man and it was a mini date so I CONSCIOUSLY spent $2.50 on a cup of joe. He actually ended up treating me tho. 🙂 Along with my spin class – I had purchased 20 classes in bulk a couple of months ago when they were having a sale so technically it was already paid for but since I am going to be needing to purchase more classes at some point this summer…I’m gonna put the cost of that spin class in my savings. So my tally so far:
Spin Class: $17*
*Being added to Savings.
Made $50 in yoga class earnings!
Spin Class: $17*
Spin Class: $17*
Facial Wax: $70 + $15 tip ($85)
I made $10 in a tip from a massage I needed to give for school. So I treated my self to a cup of coffee! (3$) Whoop Whoop!
Massaged again at the clinic where my time is donated but I get to keep my tips. One cup of coffee for me and a $1 for the Vet with his puppy when I left. There is always someone who may need it more than me.
Grocery shopping. Let’s see how this goes.
$50. Not bad. We had a bunch of core staples so I only had to get some protein and fruit and veggies. The thing is. I am really pretty frugal for the most part. Monday thru Thursday is golden. Then the weekend comes.